


An Athiest’s Delight

by SwagJellyBean



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:00:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27705922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwagJellyBean/pseuds/SwagJellyBean
Summary: This is my first time using this website, so I apologize if anything is off or difficult to understand. This is just a little story I have running around in my head, but if it’s enjoyed I have more chapters written already :). Again, first time user here so if no one even ends up reading this, it never happenedPear baskets are a bad sign, so when a depressed stranger shows up at your door with some, you should turn them away. Pear lovers be warned, I will be bashing on them at least once.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	An Athiest’s Delight

To begin, I'm not a religious person. Never have been. Yet when a being of pure light knocks on your door with a fruit basket, you tend to listen. 

The whole thing was a bit of a mess really. I was lounging in my chair, attepting to read 'Great Expectations' (Keyword: attempting) the whole thing wasn't exactly a page turner, so when I heard a light thud on the wood I was halfway to the door. The following exchange occured:

"Hello?"

"Mr. Archibald? I'm from Harryington Eagles Agency of Varying Enabled Nuances, may I come in?"

"Harry Eagles of Verified Nurses?"

The strangers mouth twitched before they patiently reiterated 

"Harryington Eagles Agency of Varying Enabled Nuances. A bit of a mouthful, I'm aware, most people simply refer to us as H.E.A.V.E.N."

I snorted

"A bit pretentious don't you think?"

"I can assure you Mr. Archibald, our work is worthy of such a hefty title."

THAT threw me off guard. It's not every day you hear a verified nurses agency compare their work to such a high degree, especially considering that this was Quinwallis, a notoriously Christian community that strives to fulfill their purpose as God's underlings yadayadayada.

"I ask again, may I come in?"

Now, let me be clear. Under normal cicumstances one should never let a stranger into their home, especially if that stranger was holding what looked to be a pear fruit basket (yuck). However, my interest in the newcomer was piqued, so I held open the door.

They didn't enter. 

The stranger grimaced before sighing. "You need to invite me inside." my confusion must have been noticable, as they quickly reprised "The agency requires permission before entering our clients homes. It's uh... security measure. You know, so HR doesn't have a fit." the stranger let out a small chuckle, as if HR being pissed was an everyday activity expirienced by everyone. 

"Sure, thou mayest cometh inside." I said with mock royalty. The stranger had a puzzled expression for a bit, before masking it with a brilliant smile. When I say brilliant, I mean it. You hear people call others dazzling, but this newcomer's grin was blinding to look at. They looked at me curiously, definetly notcing my stares. Shaking my head, I ushered them into the living room. Their nose crinkled slightly as they saw the state of my 'workplace' (chill zone). "I apologise for the mess, studying is hell these days." I let out a nervous laugh. For some reason, I was embarrased for them to see the pigsty that was my home. This almost never happened, as I don't give half a shit about what people think about my lifestyle, yet I felt the need to please this odd fruit bearer. My joke didn't seem to land however, as the stranger stood there stonefaced "Trust me, Hell is far worse than this. Picture more winged Demons and fire, less Queen vinyl records." 

This was were I was disappointed. Just another missonary trying to 'save me from hell' because 'you've commited sins and only converting to my religion will wipe your slate clean'. Damn, here I was hoping for a fun yarn to spin for my friends. Ah, well. I've already let the poor person into my home, might as well listen to them talk my ears off. 

"Tea? I can pop the kettle on the stove and and have it done in less than five."

The stranger's expression became one of shock.

"Tea. You just offered me tea."

I was taken aback. Had I offended this odd person somehow? Who knows, maybe the Bible forbids drinking tea on Thursdays.

"Er-Yes? I have coffee if you'd prefer that, though it might take a bit longer."

Suddenly the stranger's eyes welled with tears. Soon they began crying, the weeps slowly turning from soft whimpers to full blown bawls. I stood there shocked. I was never the one to comfort someone when they were distraught, actually when someone was upset I purposly avoided them. Now here was a person I've never met having a mental breakdown in my living room. Unsure of what else to do, I grabbed the crushed box of tissues from underneath a stack of assorted magazines and held it in front of the now curled up weeper. Glancing up from their impression of an armadillo, they stared at the offer.

"Do...you want tissues?"

The stranger continued watching me with confusion, which I suppose is better than looking at me while crying.

"A-are you sure? I'm not a very good Angel, this is only my fifth mission. I-I'd hate to disappoint you." at the last words, they began bawling all over again. "Did you say angel? Listen man, I brought you in because I thought this was a boy scout thing you had to do for ya' church or something, not for you to spout about angels and other shit." the stranger cried out "Of course I disappointed you! How could I not, it's always 'Alwyn, your comrade is already on the list for Minor Arch and you're still on Demon cleanup?' or 'Alwyn, when are you gonna shape up and learn to fly!'"the last sentence was punctuated with an especically loud sob as Alwyn (evidently that was his name) tore off his brown cloak and revealed two small fluttery wings. This is where I heroically calmed down this winged abomination and got him the help he needed.

Just kidding. I passed out.


End file.
